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⌕ Confusion Ending/Dialogue is a dialogue subpage
This page is dialogue from a specific ending. To view this section along with dialogue from other endings, visit the dialogue page.
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This page contains the narration for the Confusion Ending.
After going down the elevator in the maintenance room[]
But Stanley didn't want to get back to the office, he wanted to wander about and get even further off track.
So now in order to go back, he needed to go, um... uh... hm hm hm hm hm, from here it's... um... left.
Oh, no. No, it's to the right, my mistake.
No! No, no, no! Not the right! Why would I have ever said it was to the right? What was I thinking?
It's clearly...oh dear, would you hold on for a minute, please? *papers rustling* Now, let's see...
we went, um, right...left...down...left...right...
Ah yep! Okay, okay, yes! I've got it now! This story is absolutely, definitely, this way.
Entering the Monitor Room[]
NO! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This isn't right at all! You're not supposed to be here yet, this is all a spoiler! Quick, Stanley, close your eyes!
Okay, okay, okay, okay, we just...we just have to get back to, um... oh...
who am I kidding? It's all rubbish now. The whole story...completely unusable.
How about rather than waste my time trying to salvage this nonsense, we'll just restart the game from the beginning. And this time, suppose we don't wander so far off-track, hm?
Okay, from the top!
After first restart[]
When Stanley- wait...wait, what?
No, I... no, I restarted! I swear I definitely restarted the game over, completely fresh, everything should be...
Or, did something change? Stanley, did you change anything when we were back in that room with all the monitors? Did you move the story somewhere, or...
Hold on, why am I asking you? I'm the one who wrote the story. It was right here a minute ago. I know for sure that it's here somewhere.
Okay, then, it's an adventure! Come, Stanley, let's find the story!
(30 seconds of aimless wandering)
I'll say it: This is the worst adventure I've ever been on.
I can promise you, there definitely was a story here before. Do we just... do we need to restart the game again? Well, I find it unlikely that we'll ever progress by starting over and over again,
but it's got to be better than this. Okay, let's give it a shot, why not.
After second restart[]
Okay, yep, it's worse. I might be remembering this wrong. It's possible the story is back where we just came from.
Why don't we go back the other direction and see if we missed anything?
Going into the blue hallway[]
Aha! I knew we'd missed something! The story! Here it comes!
No, wait, nevermind, not the story! Okay, let's head back the other way and retrace our steps.
Going into the wooden building[]
Now this... well I'll be honest, I don't recognize this place at all. Is this the story?
I don't think so. I can't quite recall, but I believe my story took place in an office building...is that correct? Hm...do you remember, Stanley?
Well, you know what, since I've completely forgotten what we were supposed to be doing, how about this:
YOU WIN!! Congratulations! I know you put in a lot of hard work, and it really paid off, so, good job!
Oh, no. No. I don't feel right about this at all. We both know you didn't put in any actual work for that win. Some people win fair and square and this was not one of those situations.
Okay, I'm getting weirded out by whatever this place is. I don't care what might happen this time, I have to restart.
When encountering The Stanley Parable Adventure Line™[]
Alright, I've got a solution. This time, to make sure we don't get lost, I've employed the help of The Stanley Parable Adventure Line™! Just follow The Line™; how simple is that!
Trying to go back to the Two Doors Room[]
No, no, I'm done. We're leaving it up to The Line™ from now on.
Following the Line™[]
You see? The Line™ knows where the story is, it's over in this direction! Onward, Stanley, to destiny!
Though, here's a thought: wouldn't wherever we end up be our destination, even if there's no story there? Or, to put it another way, is the story of no destination still a story?
Simply by the act of moving forward are we implying a journey such that a destination is inevitably conjured into being via the very manifestion of the nature of life itself?
(the dialogue below is skipped to the point of "Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah." if the player reaches the hallway before the Company Archives Room before the Narrator reaches the part of the dialogue)
Okay, Stanley, I need to follow this train of thought for a minute, just stick with me.
Now we can both agree that the nature of existence is, in fact, a byproduct of one's subjective experience of that existence, right?
Okay, now if my experience of your existence rests inside of your subjective experience of this office, is this office, in fact, the skeleton of my own relative experiential mental subjective construct?
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah. Hang on, that got a bit weird back there. Well, I'd like to apologize. Not sure where I was going with all that.
You know what? I think what we need right now is a bit of music to lighten the mood!
(Following Stanley plays)
Walking past the fern[]
Wait! Cut the music! Go back and look at that fern!
Going back to the fern[]
Stanley, this fern will be very important later in the story. Make sure you study it closely and remember it carefully. You won't want to miss anything.
Back at the office[]
Wait, we're...we're back at the office?! No! No, no! Line™, You™ do know we're looking for The Stanley Parable, right? The story? Is any of this ringing a bell?
Going back to the Two Doors Room[]
Still missing the doors. Did we make a mistake following The Line™? Perhaps we could have found the story on our own.
Entering the Monitor Room again[]
Oh, no, no, no, no, not again! Line™, how could you have done this to us, and after we trusted You™! After everything we've been through, you- oh, I can't take this anymore. To hell with it. Restart.
After fourth restart[]
You know what, Stanley? I say forget The Adventure Line™, what has It™ ever done for us!
We're intelligent people, right? Why can't we make up our own story? Something exciting, daring, mysterious...
Oh, this all sounds perfectly doable, why don't we simply start wandering in, well, I don't know...how about...this direction!
Now! Yes, this is exciting! Just me and Stanley, forging a new path, a new story! Well, it could be anything!
What do you want our story to be? Go wild! Use your imagination. Whatever it might be, Stanley, I'm ready for it!
When the Line™ reappears[]
Oh, no, not You™ again! Stanley, I'd also like to veto The Line™ from having any role in our awesome new story, no Line™s or monitor rooms.
Just don't acknowledge It™, and we should be fine.
Entering the circular Two Doors Room[]
Ah, a choice! We get to make a decision; from here, the story is in our control! How important we musn't squander the opportunity.
In fact, I believe I need a minute to think here. Just walk in circles for a minute.
Okay, so I know that each door has to lead somewhere, which means that somewhere at the place we're trying to go there must be a reverse door that leads here.
And that, in turn, means that our destination corresponds with the counter-inverted reverse door's origin!
So starting from the right, let us ask: will taking the right door lead us to where we're going?
And since the answer is clearly 'yes,' then by all accounts, the door on the right is the correct one! Another victory for logic. Come, Stanley, our destiny awaits!
Entering the Confusion Ending Schedule[]
Oh, hold up, what's this? Hmm... hmm, the confusion ending?
You're telling me...that's what this is? It's all one giant ending? And we're supposed to restart the game... what... eight, eight times?
That's really how all this goes?! It's all...determined?
So now according to the schedule I restart again, then, what... am I just supposed to forget? Well, what if I don't want to forget! My mind goes blank simply because it's written here on this... this... thing! Wall!
Well, who consulted me? Why don't I get to decide? Why don't I get a say in all of this! Is it really-
No, it can't be. I don't want it to be. I don't want the game to keep restarting. I don't want to forget what's going on. I don't want to be trapped like this. I won't restart the game. I won't do it! I won't do it! I won't do it.
And the timer... uh, stopped? Does that mean... did we do it? Did we break the cycle? The, um... whatever it is that made this schedule?
How would we even know? Will someone come for us? Will something happen?
So... okay. *sigh*
I guess now we just wait. You know, I suppose in some way, this is a kind of story, wouldn't you agree? I'm not quite sure if we're in the destination or the journey,
though, they're always saying that life is about the journey and not the destination, so I hope that's where we are right now. We'll find out, won't we? Eventually.
Well, in the meantime, if you do happen to-
(buzzer cuts off the Narrator and actually restarts the game, ending the whole ending)