Demonstration Dialogue

View • Edit • Discuss Dialogue

The Stanley Parable Demonstration

Green Room (Initial arrival)

humming

Oh, hello hello hello! Welcome... to this Revision 3 exclusive demonstration of The Stanley Parable! Adam, today, it will be my pleasure to guide you through this sneak-peek at what to expect in The Stanley Parable, to apply your superior critical judgement, honed, over a lifetime of journalistic excellence, thoughtful analysis of media and literature, and doing way, WAY too many drugs and burglary. Yes, I really can't wait to hear what you think about our game. Adam... Isn't this a thrilling moment for all of us? Truly is, I can barely stand the tension. Tell you what... Why don't we drink in the anticipation for a moment? Just for... 20 minutes or so. Please, for just 20 minutes, don't move or act in any way. Simply remain motionless, and let the thrill of demoing the Stanley Parable gush over you. (Adam's demo exclusive)

Oh, hello hello hello! Welcome to the Stanley Parable Live Demonstration!

It will be my pleasure to guide you through this sneak-peek at what to expect in the Stanley Parable. A tease - just enough to leave you hungry for more! How exciting. Can't you just feel that nervous tension?

The booming uncertainty? Why don't we drink in the anticipation for a moment, just for... 20 minutes or so.

Please, for just 20 minutes, don't move or act in any way. Simply remain motionless, and let the thrill of demoing the Stanley Parable wash over you.

Moving

Oh, I get it. You're too anxious; you can barely hold still!

Well, tell you what, I think we should walk off that nervous energy before getting the demo underway.

Here, why don't I take you on a little tour of the facility and show you how we make a demonstration for a game like The Stanley Parable.

Not moving

Oh, wait. I've got it! Do you know what would really ramp up the anticipation? If I gave you a little tour of the facility, and show you how we make video game demonstrations. Yes, you'll be simply out of your mind with anxiety! Come along this way!

Demo Facility (Entry)

This is where I and the other proctors have been working meticulously to construct a demo that explains clearly and concisely what The Stanley Parable is, how it plays, and why you should spend real world money on the main game!

Video game demonstrations are tricky, and without the proper technology, you run the risk of the player having no idea what to expect in the full version.

Buttons & Choice Room

Ah, here is one such technology. These buttons are meant to convey the meaning of choice and the impact of the decisions you make.

After all, choices carry tremendous meaning and consequence; didn't you know that?

Go ahead, why don't you try picking one of these buttons to press and we'll see what your choice says about you.

How fascinating. Did you know that 94% of all people who select that particular button are sexual predators.

You see, our choices really illuminate the very intangible nature of our minds and souls.

Pervert.

Demo Facility (Lobby)

Okay, what else can I show you then!

This place is the buffalo of game design - nothing is wasted!

How's the anticipation? Still feeling it?

Wall Technology Room

Now, I think you'll find this exciting; we've actually developed a wall... that you can walk through!

Go ahead, give it a shot.

Oh. Hm. I guess it's still in development.

Right. Okay, moving along!

Demo Status Room

This device tells you whether or not you're inside a video game demonstration.

Somewhere around here, there's also a device that tells you whether or not you're inside a device that tells you whether or not you're inside a video game demonstration.

Compliments Room

One of the most important parts of administering any demonstration is pumping up your ego and appealing to insecurities about your sense of self worth.

That's why we use this room to develop cheap compliments to shower on the player during the demo. Go ahead and press that button to see some of the superficial flattery we've been cooking up.

My heavens! I've never met someone who can consume as much uranium in a single sitting as you can! Just look at you go!

Of all people I know who are playing this exact demo at this exact moment and standing in this exact room, your performance is easily in the top 5,000!

Top 4,700 even! I won't go as far as 4,600...

Uh... Let's see... well this is embarrassing, I can't really think of anything else to say, I- no, you've really exhausted my list of compliments.

Goodness, that was fast. Either you or this department has a lot of room for improvement. Okay then, what's next!

Emotion Booths Room

Now here's what we use to convey story: These booths convert text from a story into raw emotion.

Go ahead, step into one of them and feel the sheer power of narrative exposition.

(Neither of the below quotes have captions accompanying them, so information has had to be collected from carefully listening to the booth speeches).

Discovery Booth

It was though and within the shame he carried that ocean breezed adrift. The fierceness of the tides, the inevitable collapse of their kingdoms, washed ashore, the rift of shame, martyrs devoid of a cause, ripping and tearing at the eternal seams. A vessel without a captain, carrying itself like plastic in the wind, hinting at a purpose that was truer in some distant memory. If only it could decipher through time's veneer, whose memory it wanted to be!

Despair Booth

Where did these cliffs go? These cracks that we stood upon... They shielded us from our own ignorance... spoke coddling words and wrapped our vulnerabilities in a woolen cloth, that so many times I've tried to set aflame. If I knew these comforts now, would their fibers be any more sensitive to the heat of my touch? Perhaps it was the cold I desired most of all. That empress to whom my flesh was always invisible... A hammock for the bones... Waiting to be touched, and to be known...

Leaving after going into neither booth

Ah, no, I get it. Can't risk experiencing emotions. Well, I must say, I have a certain respect for you and your cold unfeeling husk of an existence.

Leaving after going into only one booth

Couldn't do more than one booth? Well, I don't blame you.

People always want to do both booths, and then they're just crying and crying and completely missing the demo, and it's awkward for everyone.

Leaving after going into both booths

Oh, you went in both booths?! Oh, how vulnerable of you.

If at any point in the demo you need to cry, just let me know and we can take a minute.

Returning to Buttons & Choice Room

No, no, we've already seen this room. If it saves you the trouble of pushing another button, I can assure you that you're still a pervert.

Trying to leave out the way you came

This door cannot be opened because it's where you just came from. It's in the past.

The Stanley Parable's official stance on the past is that it no longer exists and should be ignored.

If the past attempts to speak to you, you may refer it to a Stanley Parable associate.

Final Choice Room (Initial Arrival)

Ah, now this room is the most important you'll encounter in the demo. This is where we determine whether or not the demo has been effective!

Whether it's conveyed the wit and soul of The Stanley Parable in such a compelling way that you reach immediately for your credit card to purchase the main game!

Oh, I must say, I'm so excited to hear your response. I really do think we've crafted something special here and I look forward to hearing whether or not you agree.

Trying to make the Final Choice early

No no no no no, Adam! What are you doing? You can't make that decision yet! We haven't played the demo! Is this what they call 'journalistic integrity'? (when Adam of Revision 3 tried to access the Final Choice early)

NO!! What are you doing?! You can't make that decision yet - you haven't played the demo!!

We've put so much work into the demonstration, wouldn't it be a shame if you rushed right into a purchasing decision without savoring it first?

Let this one simmer. You'll have plenty of time to decide later.

Back to the Green Room

And there you have it. Everything you need to know about how video game demos are made!

However, it's still important that we address safety concerns.

Please, closely observe the following possible negative side effects of playing The Stanley Parable.

If you agree to be held 100% responsible for any and all injury or long term damage - mental, physical or otherwise - that may occur while playing the demo, please do not press the large red glowing "disagree" button at this time.

Nothing? No objections? You're quite sure about that?

Huh. Well, alright then.

In the event that you do experience one or all of the previously listed symptoms, let's establish a signal for you to convey to me that you wish the demonstration to be terminated.

Please step into the dance perimeter.

Please perform a dance.

Your dance has been recorded. In the event that you feel confused or disorientated by anything you see inside the demo, perform that dance and I will terminate the demo immediately.

Right! All preparations have been made. It is time at last.

Are you prepared for...

THE STANLEY PARABLE!!

Returning to the Waiting Room unintentionally

Oh, wait, what?

What are we doing here? Did we not...?

Okay, I'm lost. Let's just get back to the green room and start the demo again. I must have done something wrong the first time.

Waiting inside the Waiting Room (Revisit only)

Okay you know that no one is checking numbers, right? You can just... go. You can do it right now. Literally right this second.

I don't know how no-one figures this out. We could be back at the demo by this time. Are you... are you enjoying this? Watching numbers tick down slowly? Well please, don't let me stop you.

If somehow you're associating the joy of this room with the joy of playing The Stanley Parable then by all means! Continue!

The full version of The Stanley Parable contains all the ecstasy you are now experiencing, and so, so, so much more!

Aaaaand we can move on now! The demo!

Waiting for longer

My goodness, this room really means something special to you, doesn't it?

Is it a connection? A spark? Something between you and this room that runs... deeper?

Well, I... I have to say, I'm... I'm really quite moved. You know what? Go ahead, take your time. I'll wait.

Trying to start the Demo again

Okay, here we go, The Stanley Parable Demo, take two!

Finding the demo, learning exactly what The Stanley Parable is... Here it comes!

The Eight Game

Oh, wait, what is this?

Wait wait wait, this is all wrong! This isn't The Stanley Parable, this is a game where you press a button and it says 'eight'!

Not only is The Stanley Parable not a game about continuously pressing the number 'eight', I can guarantee that this button does not appear anywhere in the full game.

Why is this here instead of the demo for The Stanley Parable! Where did the demo go?! There was an actual demo here before, something has gone wrong, it's all gone horribly wrong!

We need to get you out of here before you start forming impressions of The Stanley Parable based on whatever the hell this 'eight' game is. We need to get out, we need to start all over, you mustn't stay here another minute! OUT! OUT! OUT! GO GO GO!

Now I think you've misunderstood me, so let me reiterate as clearly as I can: This is not The Stanley Parable! What you are doing is pushing a button over and over that does nothing but speak the word 'eight'. Has that gotten through?

You may be continuing to press this button under the impression that you're playing The Stanley Parable right now - an assumption that is, I should remind you again, entirely erroneous.

It doesn't even make sense, why would I have gone to all of this elaborate setup just to demonstrate a game that doesn't do a single thing except repeat the word 'eight'.

The waiting room, the green room, the tour of the facility, all of that for no reason other than to contextualize and build up this particular game? Why?! What about this game deserves any of that time and attention? Are you seeing something in it that I'm not?

Okay, so here's the deal: It isn't possible that you still think this is The Stanley Parable. I've restated the fact too many times.

Which means you are now consciously choosing to delay the actual demo as long as possible, is that it? Are you afraid of The Stanley Parable?

I suppose another possibility is that you can't hear me because you're playing with the sound off. In which case what are you even getting out of this "eight" game in the first place? This scenario is perhaps even MORE concerning.

You really are finding this amusing, aren't you. The experience of pushing a button and it says "eight". Is this intrinsically captivating to you on its own, as a legitimate experience?

I mean, I'm starting to wrap my head around the idea but it's not all the way there. *sigh* I guess I shouldn't be surprised, this is coming from the person who sat in the waiting room when the door was open right there.

If you're the kind of person this demo is targeting, I guess I should be a little concerned for our sales numbers.

The funny thing is you haven't even played The Stanley Parable yet. How can you be so sure that this is the better game? Is this simply more compelling than you imagine The Stanley Parable to be?

Have you formed such a rich vision of the game already? What exactly did I do that gave you such a miserable, awful impression of what it's like to play The Stanley Parable? Was it the dance? Yes, it was almost certainly the dance. I regret that now.

Well, the good part is that if this is your metric for quality in a game, when we DO get to The Stanley Parable, you'll be THRILLED! SHOCKED! BLOWN AWAY! Every one of your faculties will be enraptured by the experience of a game that does anything more than say "eight" over and over.

Yes, I can't wait for your entire world to be shattered and rebuilt, a magical moment we'll all share together.

Ok, I'm not going to pretend I don't know what's going on here. You are so utterly compelled by this game that you don't intend to stop playing it until you pass out from physical exhaustion.

Well, tell you what: I'll just be right here and wait for you to finish, I'm sure that The Stanley Parable demo will still be out there somewhere when you're all done.

In the mean time, I'm going to stop acknowledging you and just let you get it out of your system. Please, enjoy the "eight" game; take as much time as you need!

Returning to the Green Room again (without staying at the Eight Game)

Imagine if this HAD been the demo! What would you have been thinking?! You'd have left with NO idea what The Stanley Parable is about, none whatsoever!

Returning to the Green Room again (after annoying the Narrator with the Eight Game)

Oh, you're all done? Well in that case, what do you say we get back to business and start this demo over from the top.

Going past the Reception one last time

Yes yes yes, we've heard it all the first time.

Trying to explore doors on the way back

Now now, no time for exploration. We've got business to attend to.

Back at the beginning of the demo

Okay now, let's take a minute to get something straight here. When you sit down to play this demo, you are assuming an amount of responsibility for its outcome.

Now I can't say for certain whether you caused us to encounter the 8-game rather than The Stanley Parable, but I think it's a pretty safe assumption that you had something to do with it.

At this time, please take a minute to apologize to the Steam Train passengers for failing to properly demonstrate the game. (Steam Train personalized demo)

At this time, please take a minute to think about all of the mistakes you've made in playing this demonstration, as well as your lack of respect for demo-taking in general.

(After short clip)

Wonderful, I could really feel the introspection on my end. Now that we're all on the same page again, I feel ready to attempt the demonstration once more.

IN THIS THIRD ATTEMPT, WE SHALL TRULY COME TO UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF THE STANLEY PARABLE! LET THE DEMONSTRATION... BEGIN!!!

Fake End of Demo

What?! No no no no no, it can't be over yet! You didn't see anything!

Everything that was supposed to demonstrate why the Stanley Parable is a quality experience worth your time and money!

Oh no no no no, we have to get out of here. We have to find something for you to do, anything. The demo cannot end like this!

Hurry! Hurry, this way!

The Cup Game Room

Okay, this is new, this is different. Surely there must be a game somewhere in here.

Okay okay how about this cup. Go pick up the cup.

[Picked up the cup] Alright, now put it in, um... in the bin.

• [Cup in the bin ending] You did it! You won! Do you what you get for winning? An achievement!
• [Cup on Rafters ending] Now how did you do that? You got the cup all the way up there? I didn't even know that was possible! I guess, om a certain sense, this is a game too - the game of getting the cup stuck up in the rafters! Yes, it's the most exciting of all games, and guess what: YOU WON! Do you know what you get for winning? An achievement!
• [Doing nothing ending] Oh you're Not going to put the cup in the bin? Yes that's a game too, preventing the cup from entering the bin! And you won! Do you know what you get for winning? An achievement!

Wow, The Stanley Parable just keeps getting better and better! In fact, let me take a little survey of your experience.

Based on what you're played so far, would you purchase The Stanley Parable?

You responded: (Steam demo review personalized demo) Incredible! You really do get it you understand, oh I was so worried. [Chuckles]

Oh I was so worried I just wanted you to know what I see in The Stanley Parable.

What I think makes it...well special. It's so very difficult to put into words.

Oh we're all beyond all that now, aren't we! Come along, let's get to the end and the final choice!

En-route to the real ending

Ending, ending... where are you? Where are you?

End of Demo

Yes! The end! Now this is when we want the demo to be over.

And I think it's time for you to log your final decision as to whether or not The Stanley Parable is any good.

Final Choice room (second arrival)

And it all comes to this. Please consider very carefully before answering - much is at stake.

Is it working? Are... are you sure? You're sure you... pressed a button?

What?! No, we... we finished the demo. Did it start again?

HELLO!? IS ANYONE THERE?! THEY ALREADY FINISHED; THEY SAID THEY LIKED IT! I NEED SOMEONE TO STOP THE DEMO! HELLO??

We need to go back. We need to get out of here.

Broken Environment (Narrative Contradiction)

Oh, no! What's going on?! Where is everyone??

Did the two of you do this? Goddammit, Ross! (addressing Danny and Ross)

OKAY! OVER TO THE LEFT! DOWN THIS WAY!

Ending

Ooh... nice and quiet. Finally.

Well, I suppose we can both agree that I've failed, haven't I? My job was to be a teacher, and I so badly wanted to teach you exactly what The Stanley Parable is supposed to be, but... somehow I couldn't... I-

Well, at any rate, I don't know if I care for The Stanley Parable anymore. Do you think any of this is actually in the main game?

Honestly, I doubt it. What would that even look like? No, I think I've had enough of it.

No more doors, no more demonstrations, no more... endings.

That's the other problem with this game - there's too many bloody endings. I'm sick of them? How can one game end so many times? It doesn't make sense.

Oh, but back at the beginning of the demonstration, now, that was lovely! No concerns about where it was all going, no confusion, just a blank slate.

Yes, that's what I want. A game of beginnings.

Hey, heh. Do you remember? When we met for the first time?

And I showed you the technology used to make a demo, because I thought there actually was a demo? (Demo Facility)

*chuckle* Oh, we were so naive back then. How little we knew of the world.

And then, when we ended up back in the waiting room? Even though you had already done that before? (Waiting Room and Green Room)

Yes! It's all so fresh in my memory. They were such wonderful moments!

Ooh, and then when we played the game with the cup and you won! (Cup Game Room)

And then we kept wandering, and we ended up in a stairwell somewhere, and we just kept climbing and climbing - flight after flight after flight. I thought they would never end! (Endless staircase)

And then we were on some kind of catwalk? I didn't have any idea what was down there, did you? (Catwalk)

We talked about it for a while, about how we couldn't possibly know whether this was really an escape, but that it seemed worth a try, and at the very least, it would be an adventure. (Elevator exterior)

So we got inside, and we rode the elevator up and up and up... We had some sense that the end was coming, but we couldn't possibly know when. (Elevator interior)

And then, after so long, it finally stopped.

And we stepped outside into the lush outdoors!

The trees, the wildlife, the sun rising on a new and glorious path!

Freedom! We were free!

There was nothing to think, nothing to know.

Simply us being right there in that moment.

Wasn't it sooo beautiful!

Wasn't that moment so singularly, piercingly beautiful!

We were free.