Pre-Ending[]
Ohh! New content? What does that mean - new content?
New Content Showcase[]
Introduction[]
Announcer:
Hello, and thank you for playing The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe!
As you may know, The Stanley Parable was a video game released in 2013 on home computers.
After receiving critical and commercial success, it was expanded upon in 2022 with The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe, a reimagining of the game for consoles and home computers.
The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe features exciting new content that broadens and expands the world of The Stanley Parable, delighting audiences the world over!
Please step inside and see what thrilling new adventures await in The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe.
Narrator: Oh, well, this sounds delightful! I'm very excited to see the thrilling new Ultra Deluxe content.
First Elevator[]
Without the Bucket:
Okay, so far it's an elevator. Nothing special yet. But I'm sure it's just the beginning of a mesmerizing adventure.
Um. Is it broken? What's going on here? Should we - should we be moving somewhere, or... Oh, here we go! Alright, finally. At long last, it's on to the new content! I've never been more ready, let's do it!
Hmm... hmm... I have to say, initial impressions of Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe... mostly tedious. It's as if, um- Oh, okay. Let's see the content! Gimme the content, Stanley!
With the Bucket:
Wait Stanley, I've just now realized. That bucket you're holding, it's the bucket I've been working on for my sequel. How did you get your hands on it? Isn't this the preview to the sequel? How do you have the bucket already? This - this makes no sense at all.
Hold on, did I already show you my ideas for the sequel? I don't remember doing that at all. You're seeing things all out of order!
The Jump Circle[]
Without the Bucket:
Alright... Alright let's see. It's... The Jump Circle.
Is - is that it? Surely that's not all the new content. There has to be something else, right?
With the Bucket:
What order are all of these endings arranged in exactly? Oh, bloody hell! This game is far too complicated! (originally it played the Non-Bucket version of it)
Wait. So this means you must have already have been to my exhibit on The Stanley Parable 2. Because how else would you have the bucket?
Second Elevator[]
Without the Bucket:
Goodness! Another elevator! Stanley, I have to say: initial impressions of this game are not positive. It's just elevators and jumping. Is this what passes for "exciting new content"?
If this is new content, then I could just read you the whole dictionary! There's 20 hours of new content right there! Hell, I could count to 30 trillion, you could put that on the box! The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe, now with over a thousand hours of new content! And ev-
Oh, wait. There's more. Very good. Yes. I knew there had to be something else. Let's see it. I'm ready for whatever it is.
With the Bucket:
The infinite hole, the Jim button, did you see them already? Stanley, none of them are ready yet, I'm still developing them! They're not even close to finished! (originally giant door rather than Jim Button)
How did they look when you saw them? Were they captivating? Were they exciting? Did they fulfill on the promise of everything that a sequel to Stanley Parable could possibly be? Had I figured out how the hell to make a sequel to this game?
Final Room[]
Without the Bucket:
That's it?! Oh, you've got to be kidding me! You see, Stanley? This is what happens when greedy video game developers with no respect for their fanbase rush a cheap expansion to market for no reason other than to make an easy dollar! And don't get me started on the level of craftsmanship that's gone into it.
In fact, I'm looking right now at the game's achievements, and it's hard to believe one of them actually says "Test achievement please ignore!" What quality assurance department signed off on this? I'm infuriated and I'm offended and I - I intend to find these people on Twitter and hold them personally accountable.
[Sigh] It's my fault, Stanley. I built up too much anticipation around the new content, I'm afraid. It could never have lived up to such expectations. If you're still with me, why don't we just reset the game, and we'll try to get back to what The Stanley Parable is really about. No frills. No gimmicks. Just you and me having a great time together like always. What do you say, friend?
With the Bucket:
Wait, if you're still carrying the bucket around with you, if the bucket is interesting to you, that means I must have made it correctly! Yes, you carrying the bucket with you everywhere is exactly what I set out to accomplish! The bucket is the exciting and captivating new content that I promised! I did it! I win! I made a sequel to The Stanley Parable!
Yes, the sign is correct, thank you for enjoying the new content. Thank you for taking the bucket everywhere with you, clinging tightly to the bucket, never letting it go. It means I've won, it means I am victorious over the gamers. It is a sweet salve of victory on my soul!
Thank you for enjoying the new content. The bucket is The Stanley Parable now. They are one and the same. There is no Stanley Parable without the bucket. I win! I win! I win, I win, I win! I win! I win! I win, I win, I win!