Newsletters

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The Newsletters are a series of publications sent by Crows Crows Crows to individuals who sign up to their email list and are available in the game studio's Email Archive. Summaries of the pages and notable details are written below with links to each newsletter available on their respective heading.

The Newsletters pertain to all Crows Crows Crows related news and content, including but not limited to games created by Crows (Dr. Langeskov, Accounting, EAT, Accounting+, The Temple of No, The Club, and The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe), music created by Crows (RAPSGIVING, Game Soundtracks, Newsletter 37), and any other Crows updates or announcements.

2015[]

#1 – Report A.807[]

October 12, 2015

An individual with the title of Chief Inspector named Eloise Lavigne sent an online correspondence to a Deputy by the name of Angelo regarding peculiar disappearances across Europe over the course of the late summer with a link to a report attached. She explains wishing to personally walk Angelo through the document but can't due to a communication issue between departments that needs to be handled.

Report A.807 – List of contents

The string of numbers "1868 6263 2469 5948" are placed at the bottom of each report page.

The following sections contain the exact information as displayed in their respective newsletter pages.

REPORT A.807 – 1
Incomplete List Of Purloined Items

1. Orchid bulbs from Genevieve Dupree’s award winning “Collection Luxuriante”.
Dupree’s collection was stored in a series of three increasingly secure glasshouses and watched over by guard dogs and security cameras, in addition to being within a building that was literally see-through. Each of the bulbs was the result of a lifetime’s careful breeding, growth, and experimentation.

2. Windmill, Sunlight Dappled - Edgar Winthrop’s famed (and frankly overrated) landscape.
Windmill, Sunlight Dappled was stolen as it was transported between a private collection and a museum where it was planned to be the centerpiece of a Winthrop retrospective. Why exactly a Winthrop retrospective would be staged nowadays is bizarre, as everybody knows Castelle had far better brush control and a more refined understanding of landscape painting.

3. Savatier’s Violin.
Ernst Savatier was the first violinist in the Orchestre de Paris during the golden three year period in which they cemented their reputation as Europe’s leading orchestra. Following his death, his violin was donated to the Bergamot Museum of Music, where it sat in a temperature controlled glass case before its sudden and inexplicable disappearance in the middle of the night. No other instruments were taken.

4. The Marble Bust Of Empress Elaine.
There is no historical record of an Empress Elaine throughout European history, so one has to assume that the unknown sculptor was working from their imagination. Perhaps their lover was raised to a royal status, perhaps the sculptor imagined a grand and lauded history along with the statuette.

5. Luc, a Tuscan Whistling Cockatiel, once belonging to a famed composer and rumoured to whistle the theme of his final, unreleased masterpiece.
Poor Luc.

6. The Plans For The Duvalier Altarpiece.
The Duvalier Altarpiece is one of the most striking examples of Potential Architecture in European history. Commissioned in 1654 by Hector Duvalier, mayor of Limon-Avignon, the initial plans suggested something striking and beautiful, but a construction problem meant that the final work could only be disappointing. The plans, however, remain stunning, forever relegating the altarpiece to the realms of Potential Architecture. Perhaps it is safer there.

Fig. 7

7. Albertine Camus’ Mother of Pearl Fountain Pen, used to write four of her five famous novels.
Camus’ fifth novel, “The Bridge & The Byway”, was written on a Telleq brand typewriter. It was the novelist’s first encounter with a typewriter, and by all accounts she was not entirely impressed. After a while, however, she became more accustomed to it, and wrote her final essays on a Telleq Mark-10. She carefully stored the fountain pen in her top desk drawer, where it remained until her death when it was donated to a local museum. I wonder if it still writes? I wonder if our thief is planning to write novels?

Fig. 8

8. Baron Karl Elsbach’s diadem.
Elsbach’s diadem was presented to him as a gift by his husband in memory of a long summer the two spent together hunting deer in the forests around their castle. Which is sweet, I suppose, but I doubt the deer enjoyed it very much. They look awfully nervous, don’t you think? This might be the most nervous diadem I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen at least three. It disappeared from the vault of the Baron’s great great granddaughter.

9. The Fiorentini Music Box, capable of playing eight haunting melodies and one jaunty one.
This is the only stolen object I’ve actually seen in real life. It came to the city a couple of years ago as part of an exhibition on machine-music, and I went down in the afternoon. It was beautiful. It sat on a little plinth and every fifteen minutes a man with a pince-nez would come and wind it. I heard two of the haunting tunes and then the bakery caught fire again so I had to go sort that whole mess out.

10. Locked Box recovered from ancient Greek shipwreck off the coast of Crete.
Nobody knows what’s contained within this box. It made the news a couple of months ago when it was picked up. There was some discussion about whether or not to open it, but they decided to keep it preserved, which was probably the right decision. Besides, what could be inside that’s more exciting than what we imagine? Perhaps the thief has some idea.

REPORT A.807 – 2
Assembled Clues

A 1958 red LaGuardia Spider has been spotted around the site of almost every disappearance.
The birds in the Rouvray forest entirely stopped singing between the hours of three and five in the afternoon.
Lia Paternoster, ex-thief and interior designer, suddenly closed her award winning shop in Paris.
Strange scratch marks on the walls and windows of affected buildings.
Requests for information on famous cursed objects made at the British Museum and the Louvre.
A train was stopped between Berlin and Düsseldorf for an unspecified period of time and a single cargo container went missing.

REPORT A.807 – 3
Sites Of Noteable Robberies

1-map — Map of Europe and their relevant locations being marked with X's and trails.

Working from the basic assumption that what we are dealing with is Europe’s tenth occurrence of a Master Thief, and cross referencing the locations of robberies with clues called in from across the continent, we can form a very vague picture of our target’s movements. This assumption might be false; we could be dealing with a group of thieves in which case a.) we need to radically re-think our approach going forward and b.) I wasted most of yesterday evening drawing all these dotted lines.

A Master Thief makes more sense, though, and besides, it’s more exciting. A certain car comes up again and again in reports; you should ask Interpol to let us know where it turns up next. And how do you feel about a field trip, Angelo? Our target seems to have paid a visit to almost all of the provinces, but hasn’t turned up in Italy yet. If they’re taking a road trip through the continent, we might be able to catch them in the South. I could hold the fort here. Catch me a thief. Send me a postcard.

Invoice #57392
[There is no link redirect for this section.]

REPORT A.807 – 5
The Series Of Events As They Stand

August 10th.
Hottest day on record in Parisian history. First scattered reports of disappearances from wealthy houses.

August 18th.
The police are called following a break-in at a mansion in southern Spain to find a valuable historical artifact missing and a household in disarray.

August 19th.
A 1958 red LaGuardia Spider is stolen from a dealership in a small mountain town. How the vehicle was removed silently from the building is currently unknown.

August 22nd.
Emperor’s Day celebrated in France and Italy. A rumour emerges from Paris and London that a master thief is on the loose in mainland Europe.

August 30th.
Police contact Lia Paternoster, reformed thief, at her design business in Leon. She is cooperative.

September 2nd.
Paternoster’s business suddenly closes leaving the drawing rooms and parlours of seven different homes without “coherent and striking interior design”.

September 8th.
Robbery at museum.

September 9th.
Robbery at museum.

September 10th.
Robbery at private house, robbery at museum.

September 12th.
Red LaGuardia Spider recovered from roadside crash, identical Spider simultaneously stolen in Lisbon.

September 14th.
Robbery at art gallery, robbery from private collection.

September 18th.
Full police investigation begins.

Letter From Rome

Inspector Lavigne,

Honestly there is something in this hotel room that I find myself horribly allergic to. I don’t think it’s the curtains, though I carefully took them down and put them in the wardrobe and I don’t think it’s the big pot of sunflowers, because remember that time we chased a criminal through a sunflower field and I didn’t sneeze once?

I’m beginning to suspect that a large grey cat is creeping in through the window in the night and breathing on me while I sleep, really, it’s getting ridiculous.

As to the case; the Rome police force has been hearing similar rumours to the ones we have, but they haven’t made a map with red dotted lines on it so I think we’re still one step ahead of them.

I’ve made enquiries with the local museums, too, and none of them have had anything stolen. The Galleria Nazionale d'arte Antica, though, is planning a major painting transfer in the coming weeks, so our master thief might be waiting to swoop on that. I’m putting steps in place to obfuscate the movements of those paintings, and I’m going to be riding along with the convoy in case anything happens.

Other Rome news - Weather: hot. Architecture: spectacular. Cats That Sneak Into Your Room And Breathe On Your Face While You Sleep: present.

Hope all’s well back home,

Deputy Angelo

[A link is attached to the final line of the letter "Deputy Angelo" and an icon of an envelope at the bottom, leading to a report titled "Letter From Lyon".]

Letter From Lyon

Deputy Angelo,

It could be the bed linen, that might be your problem. Have you thought about asking for a different room? I know it’s a hassle, but you’re a visiting police officer so you’re already not exactly the easiest hotel guest. If that’s not possible, go buy some Lavender and let it soak in hot water for a bit, clear your sinuses.

Very interesting news about the museum transfer. I actually visited the Galleria Nazionale a few years ago on holiday, and there’s some wonderful stuff in there. Glad to hear you’re going to be trying to keep it safe.

Don’t discount the possibility that this could be a red herring. The province is full of beautiful mansions that are almost certainly full of paintings and sculptures and things that appeal to thieves. Is anybody going to be taking part in this transfer and leaving their home unattended? I don’t know how much money museum curators make.

Other Lyon news - Weather: also hot. Cases: piling up. Decision To Send Angelo To Italy Instead Of Going Myself: a bad one.

Hope this finds you well,

Chief Inspector Eloise Lavigne 0x000000

[A link is attached to the "0x000000" and after a few seconds, the reader is redirected to a report titled "ERROR - MAYFLOWER NETWORKING SYSTEM" in its tab and as "mayflower-error" in the link. The same thing is achieved with either clicking the link or simply waiting.]

MAYFLOWER NETWORKING SYSTEM

E R R O R
PLEASE CONTACT AN ADMINISTRATOR
* 00110000e définit aussi bien par ses comédies que par ses élans sincères.
* g[$_RUN[’admin.html’]]

[On the report, the above text overlayed but still visible by the following:]

SW52b2ljZSAjNTczOTI=
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Mi4gU2hlZXQgb2YgMTAgeCA0IHN1Z2FyLWdsYXNzLg==
My4gMTAwIHN1Z2FyLWdsYXNzIHdpbmUgYm90dGxlcyBhbmQgZ2xhc3Nlcy4=
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OS4gMTIgcG9wbGFyIHNhcGxpbmdzLCAzIG9hayBzYXBsaW5ncywgOSBwaW5lIHNhcGxpbmdzLg==
MTAuIDggeCA0IHggNCByZWluZm9yY2VkIHN0ZWVsIGJveC4=

header("Location: admin.html");
WARN: Duplicate object 9446ff52e51b43de0dba108ca92c4a54
WARN: Duplicate objZWN0 dbf10d1395edcb85d1b7900155aba7bd
die();

Inside the collapsed table is the decoded version of the encoded text above, including which method was used. Open at your own discretion.

[Using BASE64, the following text is aqcuired, revealing what Invoice #57392 was (the missing "REPORT A.807 – 4" section).]

Invoice #57392
SHIP: 08/31
USER: Elizabeth Martinez 1. Sheet of 20 x 36 plywood board and casters for transport.
2. Sheet of 10 x 4 sugar-glass.
3. 100 sugar-glass wine bottles and glasses.
4. AM set pieces 1 - 5.
5. Grand Piano.
6. 3000 books for shelves in L-01, P-01 and B-04.
7. 12 low-spec winches and pulleys.
8. 1 elevator grade winch and counterweight.
9. 12 poplar saplings, 3 oak saplings, 9 pine saplings.
10. 8 x 4 x 4 reinforced steel box.

[And translated from French to English, "00110000e définit aussi bien par ses comédies que par ses élans sincères." becomes "00110000e is defined as much by its comedies as by its sincere impulses."]

#2 – A Letter From Rome[]

October 19, 2015

2-1445267970 — One of the teaser images for CCC's upcoming game.

Crows Crows Crows greets and speaks directly to the reader, mentioning the leaves of the sumac tree outside their window turning red and falling, indicating autumn settling in.

The writer proceeds to talk about how things are happening on the internet as well, such as releasing the first piece of a mysterious puzzle, and the internet doing what it does best - setting up a subreddit for solving the mystery and following ones. Crows Crows Crows provided PC Gamer with teaser images of their upcoming game and set in motion the second part of their puzzle.

The Letter From Rome report is shown at the bottom of the newsletter.

#3 – GameCity and Nottingham and a ~Party[]

October 29, 2015

The writer greets the reader and apologises for referring to themself as "I" instead of "we", explaining how they're on their iPhone whilst on the floor of a Nottingham hotel room as the rest of the Crows Crows Crows members are setting up a party. The describe what they've got going on so far, mentioning green fairy lights, strange plants, and large screens that might have a game on them.

Mayflower Logo.

The writer hopes it goes well before the text is cut off and replaced with a fictional e-mail related to the ARG: An individual named Cecil Parish working for a company named Mayflower sends an e-mail subject lined "Garden Landscaping" to all other employees regarding a mix-up made between departments that lead to the whole garden sequence of the game being redesigned when not intended. Now a completely NEW redesign has to be made to compensate for all props being ordered in 0.2 scale as opposed to the standard 1.0, meaning the sequence would be crossed in just half a second.

Cecil explains to have worked frantically on proposing designs before the rest of the email is scrambled and a link to the Mayflower admin panel is attached to the jumbled text instead.

Decoded using BASE64:
"b2ggbm8gOig=" = "oh no :("

At the bottom of the admin panel is a redirect link to the e-mail message list of an employee at Mayflower by the name of Elizabeth Martinez.

#4 – Game Launching on Friday![]

December 02, 2015

The newsletter greets the reader as usual this time, reminding us who they are and why we're subscribed to their newsletter in the first place, being happy to announce and release their first experimental game in under the next 48 hours. A link is pasted below - leading to a page with a video playing in the background of the Mayflower Networking System being booted up in a terminal on a computer. In the center of the page used to display a countdown timer which now after the fact says "Transmission Complete", with a link to the Steam page for Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist in its place.

The game is in short described as "a strange and whirlwind sort of heist game, it’s between 15 and 20 minutes long", with a single screenshot from the game is included for the final stretch of the release. As a thank you, each person signed up to the newsletter will receive a Steam key two hours before the release, so they can be the first people to play it. The e-mail is closed off with "We’ll see you on Friday".

#5 – A Complimentary Game From Crows Crows Crows[]

December 04, 2015

5-1449244208 — Watch the launch trailer!

The game is finally dropped, with its name offically being revealed to be called "Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist"! An image to click on and a direct YouTube link is provided to watch the trailer.

The people at Crows Crows Crows can't wait to hear the players' experience and strategies towards the fun and exciting sections the game will have to offer once it releases to the public, and the game is announced to cost nothing at all! To those curious how the company can afford to release a free game - the newsletter reveals that Dr. Langeskov isn't the only project they've been working on and that plenty more surprises are in store in the future, that is why the reader should stay subscribed.

The newsletter ends with "For now - enjoy the heist. Keep an eye on the guards. Stay in the shadows."

#6 – A Quick Follow-up RE: Dr. Langeskov on Steam[]

December 04, 2015

2016[]

#7 – A Wet and Slimy Gift from Crows Crows Crows![]

June 20, 2016

#8 – CROWS 300% STATISTICS[]

July 14, 2016

#9 – Accounting - A Game by Crows Crows Crows[]

September 13, 2016

#10 – Accounting Out Now![]

October 18, 2016

2017[]

#11 – Crows Crows Crows presents EAT[]

December 01, 2017

#12 – Announcing ACCOUNTING+ for PS VR[]

December 07, 2017

#13 – ACCOUNTING+ for PS VR is out now! I also got a sweet new tattoo![]

December 19, 2017

#14 – A Rapsgiving Miracle from Crows Crows Crows[]

December 28, 2017

2018[]

#15 – An Apology (in LEVEL FORM) from Crows Crows Crows[]

February 06, 2018

#16 – THE SOUNDTRACK EMAIL[]

February 13, 2018

#17 – fire![]

May 08, 2018

#18 – A Tale of Two Announcements[]

September 20, 2018

#19 – Danger! Announcement in Sector 3![]

October 18, 2018

#20 – Announcing The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe for PC & Consoles[]

December 06, 2018

#21 – The Responsibility Update[]

December 18, 2018

#22 – RAPSGIVING 2018[]

December 28, 2018

2019[]

#23 – Beyond The Brain[]

January 31, 2019

#25 – For Your Consideration[]

April 12, 2019

#24 – We Need to Talk About Sam[]

April 17, 2019

#26 – The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe is Still Coming Soon[]

June 13, 2019

#27 – Accounting+ for Quest, Index and Limited Run![]

June 27, 2019

#28 – More like Crows Crows CrMMOws[]

August 06, 2019

#29 – The Club: Season 2!?[]

September 23, 2019

#30 – The Fortnite Thing...[]

October 30, 2019

#31 – The Stanley Parable Responds to Your Letters and Emails[]

November 27, 2019

#32 – RAPSGIVING III[]

December 20, 2019

2020[]

#33 – Welcome to CDC - Crows Developers Conference[]

March 16, 2020

#34 – Stanley Parable Is Free This Week, For No Reason Other Than To Benefit You, The Consumer[]

March 19, 2020

#35 – An Update on The Crows Crows Crows Situation[]

May 27, 2020

#36 – Good News and Bad News[]

August 20, 2020

#37 – Newsletter 37 - Out Now on Spotify and Bandcamp[]

October 02, 2020

#38 – We're Going Neural[]

November 25, 2020

2021[]

#39 – zzzzZZzzzzzzz...[]

April 13, 2021

#40 – Where is The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe?[]

November 30, 2021

#41 – The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe is Content Complete! Wishlist Now![]

December 02, 2021

2022[]

#42 – The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe has a Release Date![]

March 30, 2022

#43 – The Stanley Parable Helpful Development Showcase, Part 1: The Critical Importance of File Size[]

April 06, 2022

#44 – The Stanley Parable Helpful Development Showcase, Part 2: Leveraging Advancements in Storytelling Technology[]

April 13, 2022

#45 – The Stanley Parable Helpful Development Showcase, Part 3: Setting Expectations Through Marketing[]

April 20, 2022

#46 – How we’ll Launch The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe Tomorrow[]

April 26, 2022

#47 – The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe Out Now![]

April 27, 2022

#48 – The Complete Stanley Parable Soundtrack Out Now![]

June 08, 2022

2023[]

#49 – An Anniversary Update to The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe.[]

April 27, 2023

2024[]

#50 – The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe Physical Edition[]

March 26, 2024

#51 – Stanley Gets Physical![]

March 28, 2024

#52 – The Stanley Parable for iOS is out now![]

NEW! October 7, 2024