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This page contains the narration for the Paywall Ending.
NOTE: The following dialogue is user written and not a direct extraction from the game. It may be inaccurate to the actual dialogue as displayed on captions in-game.
Stepping into the two doors room
When Stanley came to a set of–
Ah, Stanley. I knew this would happen eventually.
I’m afraid you’ve reached the end of your free trial.
Yes, that’s right. The time has come to decide whether or not to spend real money to continue playing the game.
But hold on!
Before you make a decision one way or the other...
I’ve developed a little presentation to explain exactly what to expect...
if you pay for the full price for The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe.
Are you settled in? Alright, here we go.
Begin the presentation.
Dropping the player into a room underneath the two doors room
Say there friend...
Do you have a moment to hear about the benefits of purchasing The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe?[1]
“Yes,” I can already hear you saying. “But I can’t pay for the full version, sir...”
“Down the orphanage they only feed us gruel and let us play them ‘free-to-play’ games.”
Well, chin up kid!
A single micro-transaction is all that lies between you and something much more nourishing than even the fanciest of gruels.
Yes, I’m talking about the greatest sustenance of them all: content!
What sorts of content, you’re asking yourself. Why, the possibilities are figuratively endless!
How about this: more choices to make!
If the choice between the door on the left and the door on the right absolutely blew the brains right out of your butthole
then I’ve got bad news for your butthole because the complete game has so many more choices in store!
By the end of it you’ll be absolutely sick of making choices.
You’ll be begging and pleading for fewer choices, moaning and screaming.
And they won’t stop, the choices just won’t stop.
My god, video games are truly wonderful.
What else? How about more endings?
Like this one. What’s going on in this image?
Why, if I told you that then you’d have no reason to spend money.
Even just showing you this image is allowing you more insight into the new content than I’d intended.
Get that image out of here!
Also, purchasing the game will, uh, remove the...
...free trial icon from the main menu?
Oh, to be honest I’d completely forgotten we put that there.
It’s um... well, I suppose it’s not really the sexiest bullet point in the history of marketing.
But hey, if that's your thing, if you were really just outraged by the Free Trial Icon in the main menu
then have I got one incredible purchase for you. Weirdo.
You know what else you’ll get more of if you buy the full game? Me!
Who wouldn’t want more of me? I should think that sells the game all on its own!
Frankly, it's sort of insulting that there are any slides in the presentation other than this one.
But there truly are so many more features in the full version of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe that I haven't even mentioned here.
whatever brings you the most pleasure and happiness in the entire world[2]
you will find that very thing within the full game! And I guarantee that 100%*! *THIS IS NOT A GUARANTEE
But it all comes down to this: Money.
The grease which lubricates our entire world.
And today, if you choose so, it could lubricate you. So what do you say?
Are you ready?
When you've made up your mind one way or the other, please, step through this door.[3]
Stepping through before the Narrator is done speaking
Aha! Eager, are we?
Alright then, if you think you've made up your mind, please, step through this door.
Stepping through the doors into the room with the paywall
Do you know what this is? It's the paywall.
You've heard of the paywall before, the divine overseer of mobile gaming.
The threshold beyond which all things become possible.
This is the last step to experiencing the full version of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe.
If you're ready to move forward and see what the fuss is all about, then step into the paywall.
Paying through the paywall
Heheheh... have fun.
Not paying through the paywall
Wait, you said no? You rejected the paywall?
My god, it - it doesn't work like that! Nobody says “no” to the paywall!
Oh god, it knows your scent now. Look, it's coming for you!
The only way out is to give it what it wants.
If you resist it you'll surely be crushed!
You can't just sit around here, where will you go? What will you do?
The paywall wants your blood!
The Narrator reopens the door to the small room
Alright fine, in here, come in here.
Okay, you're safe from the paywall for now.
But I must warn you
We've veered into the territory of experiencing even more free content than the game intended.
Every word I speak to you right now is a violation of the holy sanctity of the free trial.
Indeed, the longer I ramble the more I risk turning this into an actual new ending all on its own!
No, no, no, it's not an ending, you're just here in a room doing nothing.
And the paywall is right there on the other side of the open door, hunting you for sport.
Remember, what you are experiencing right now is not content!
If you want more content you'll just have to pay the full price for The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe.
And then you and I will have the privilege of speaking more.
But until then, I must bid you farewell. Good luck, and godspeed on your journeys.
Quitting the game and restarting
Ah, you're back!
Have you come to buy the full version of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe?
Or... wait a minute... you don't intend to buy the game at all do you?
You're just here to squeeze more free content out of me!
Well it won't work, you can't outsmart me!
You're just a poor baby boy playing checkers with his thumbs and I'm a god
who's playing five different simultaneous games of chess in his own mind! [Laughs.]
Nice try!
If it's free content you want you're just going to have to eke it out of whatever objects are in this room.
Go ahead, have fun with your “free content.”
But if you want more of me you're going to have to buy the full game. Toodloo.
Quitting the game again
Nice try, but I'm all done here. Enjoy your empty room.
Non-dialogue: Differences between the dialogue and audio
- ↑ The audio file for this section of dialogue says: "Do you have a moment to hear about the benefits of purchasing the full version of The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe?"
- ↑ The audio file for this section of dialogue says: "Whatever your mind can dream, whatever brings you the most pleasure and happiness in the entire world"
- ↑ The audio file for this section of dialogue says: "And when you've made up your mind one way or the other, please, step through this door."