Settings Person/Gallery

See Settings Person/Dialogue for the info key and plain version of this page.

1st Boot-Up

Please choose a Screen and Subtitle Language.

Have you played The Stanley Parable before?

Please adjust the slider until the computer is barely visible.

Please enter the current time.

Note: Accessibility Settings can be accessed from the main menu.

Loading screen at the end of each conversation with the Settings Person.

2nd Boot-Up

Midnight Twice: Entering 12:00AM both times.

Please enter the current time.

Wait wait wait, what are you doing?

You just told me the time is 12:00.

LAST time you played, you ALSO told me the time was 12:00.

Which is more likely, that you've started up this game at exactly midnight twice in a row, or that you're just ignoring the prompt to correctly set the time?

I think we all know which one is more likely.

Do you not believe that setting the clock accurately is important?

Do you think I would ask you to set the time if it wasn't vital to your experience with The Stanley Parable?

How reckless exactly do you think I am?

This game wasn't easy to make, do you think there was time to add frivolous features with no meaningful impact?

...

Sorry, I got a little worked up there.

Look, I'll mark down right here that the time is 12:00, but I'm placing my trust in you that you've ACTUALLY started playing the game at exactly midnight twice in a row.

And will you do me a favor?

The next time you boot up the game and see this screen, please enter the honest, accurate time of day.

We on the same page? Alright, good.

Okay, go play the video game.

Apology: Entering 12:00AM then a different time.

Please enter the current time.

Hang on, hang on.

Before we get started, can I just say something?

When I first asked you to input the time, you said 12:00.

And I'll be honest, I was disappointed.

You couldn't have taken ten seconds to input the correct time, no you simply rushed right ahead with the default value.

But then... THIS time when you booted up the game, you entered [XX:XX AM/PM]. An actual time.

I see now that you ARE taking this seriously. It must have actually been 12:00 when you first played the game.

It was very silly of me to get mad at you for that, I apologize for the hostility.

Tell you what, by way of an apology I'll make you a deal.

Next time you boot up the game and see this screen, just set the clock to your FAVORITE time.

Cooperative: Entering two different non-12:00AM times.

Please enter the current time.

Hang on, hang on.

Before we get started, can I just say something?

Thank you for actually setting the clock both times you've booted up the game.

A lot of people don't take that step seriously. They just leave the clock set at 12:00 and call it a day.

But you're actually taking the time to set the clock, and I appreciate that.

That's how I know that you care about this experience, you're paying attention.

I don't even have any way of knowing if the times you're setting are correct!

Tell you what, I'll make you a deal.

Since you've been so cooperative, next time you boot up the game and see this screen, just set the clock to your FAVORITE time.

Go ahead, pick whichever time you want! Even if it's not the correct time! You've earned it.

Alright, I'll let you get back to the video game now.

Disappointed/Not Like Them: Entering a non-12:00AM time and then 12:00AM.

Please enter the current time.

Wait wait... what are you doing?

The first time you booted up the game, you set the time to [XX:XX AM/PM].

That was fantastic. You did a great job with that one.

But... this time you simply entered 12:00. The default value.

You didn't even try.

I have to say, I'm a little disappointed.

Perhaps you don't think that it's worth taking the time to set the clock correctly?

Do you think I would ask you to set the clock if it weren't an integral part of the gameplay experience??

...

I'm not trying to get angry.

It's just that a lot of people ignore these gameplay settings altogether.

You're not like them, right?

Look, next time you boot up the game and see this screen, do me a favor and actually set the time, okay?

Okay. Good. Glad we had this talk.

Alright, I'll let you get back to the video game now.

1440 to 1/Effective Scheduling: Entering the two same non-12:00AM times.

Please enter the current time.

Wait wait, hold on a second...

Last time, you ALSO said the time was exactly [XX:XX AM/PM]

How is that even possible?

The odds are...let me see...

...

1440 to 1.

Either you're messing with me, or this is an incredible coincidence.

Is [XX:XX AM/PM] the exact moment in the day when you decide it's time to play video games?

[XX:XX AM/PM] rolls around and “Wahoo! Video game time!”

Or is it specifically the time at which you like to play The Stanley Parable?

Regardless of the specifics, it's an incredible example of effective scheduling.

Excuse me, I'm getting a little bit lost in the weeds here.

Go on, get out of here and just play the game already.

...but I'm looking forward to seeing you again at [XX:XX AM/PM]! Please come back soon!

3rd Boot-Up

Favorite Time: Entering a non-12:00AM time after “1200, Non” or “Non, Diff”.

Please enter the current time.

Ahh, [XX:XX AM/PM]. Your favorite time of day.

Or... could you simply not resist giving me the correct time again?

Midnight Thrice: Entering 12:00AM all three times.

Please enter the current time.

...

I guess that's what I expected from you. 12:00. Again.

After we had the whole talk about setting the clock to an actual time.

Why? Why can't you take just a few seconds to set the clock? Is it simply laziness?

Or... is it that you hate adjusting video game settings?

I guess it's possible that you actually just hate settings menus...

Tell you what, let's settle this with a new slider:

How much do you despise adjusting the settings in video games?

You know, can I just say, regardless of your hatred for settings, I'm personally having a great time adjusting them.

Reform: Entering 1200, 1200, Non.

Please enter the current time.

Hey! You set an actual time, and not 12:00!

I'll be honest... that wasn't what I was expecting.

I fully believed you were going to set the time to midnight again.

But I guess something I said got through to you! My message reached you!

I wonder why you listened to me. Was it because I asked you politely?

Or was it because I insulted you and implied you're lazy?

Tell you what, let's use another slider to find out.

Please set the slider to accurately reflect your reason for setting the time correctly:

You know, can I just say, regardless of the reasons behind your reform, I'm having a great time adjusting these settings.

Deliberate: Entering 1200, Non, 1200.

Please enter the current time.

You selected 12:00 again?? After I gave you my big speech about how impressed I was that you didn't input 12:00?!

Are you deliberately toying with me???

...

Hang on. I need to be calm. I've been wrong about this in the past.

Perhaps... perhaps 12:00 really IS your favorite time.

Maybe that's even why you selected it in the first place.

I guess I have no way of really knowing.

Tell you what, let's use another slider to get to the bottom of this:

To what extent is 12:00 your favorite time of day:

You know, can I just say, regardless of whether it's actually midnight right now, I'm having a great time adjusting these settings.

Midnight Lover/Vilifying: Entering Non, Diff, 1200.

Please enter the current time.

Oh... you set the time to 12:00.

So after my big speech about how impressed I was that you weren't just inputting 12:00, you go and do it anyway?

I don't know how to feel about this.

Or maybe... is 12:00 actually your favorite time of day??

Do you truly just love 12:00?

Because if you do...

Well, let's just say I've spent a lot of time being mad at the people who set the time to 12:00.

Have I been unfairly vilifying them for their love of 12:00?

Perhaps I have...

Let's settle this with a slider:

How unfair is it to dislike people whose favorite time is 12:00?

You know, can I just say, regardless of whether it's actually midnight right now, I'm having a great time adjusting these settings.

Gameplay Experience/Midnight Routine: Entering Non, 1200, 1200.

Please enter the current time.

...

You... you entered 12:00 as the time. Again.

After we had the whole talk about the importance of setting the clock correctly.

Do you not care? Do you WANT the gameplay experience to suffer??

Or...

...or have you actually sat down to play The Stanley Parable at EXACTLY midnight multiple times in a row?

Are video games more fun when you play them precisely at midnight?

I guess it's not impossible...

Tell you what, let's use another slider to get to the bottom of this:

How much fun is it to play video games at midnight?

You know, can I just say, regardless of whether it's actually midnight right now, I'm having a great time adjusting these settings.

Proven Wrong: Entering Non, 1200, Non.

Please enter the current time.

Great! You set an actual time, and not just 12:00!

For a minute there I was worried that you weren't taking all of this seriously, but you've proven me wrong.

Of course, I guess I have no way of knowing whether [XX:XX AM/PM] is even the correct time.

Heck, for all I know, it could ACTUALLY be 12:00 right now!

Hmm...

Tell you what, let's use another slider to get to the bottom of this.

How accurate is [XX:XX AM/PM]?

You know, can I just say, regardless of the accuracy of the clock, I'm having a great time adjusting these settings.

Routine Broken: Entering Non, Same, Diff.

Please enter the current time.

...wait, what's going on?

What happened to the [XX:XX AM/PM] routine?

Are you not doing that any more? Did you forget about your routine of only playing games at [XX:XX AM/PM]?

Or are you just spicing things up a bit? Trying out a new time?

Maybe [XX:XX AM/PM] was starting to feel stale, maybe you wanted to take a walk on the wild side and try playing games at [YY:YY AM/PM] for a change.

Tell you what, let's use another slider to find out:

What is your reason for playing at a different time?

You know, can I just say, regardless of why you're playing at a different time than usual, I'm having a great time adjusting these settings.

Routine Followed: Entering Non, Same, Same.

Please enter the current time.

Hey, it looks like it's [XX:XX AM/PM] again! Time to play video games!

Have you been looking forward to this all day? Eager for [XX:XX AM/PM] to roll around?

Sitting there, watching the clock tick by, minute after minute.

Until finally! It's time to play The Stanley Parable!

Oh what a sweet release it must be! What ecstacy you must be experiencing at this very moment!

I have to know, is it an explosive joy you're feeling right now? Or is it more of a beautiful simmering peace of mind?

Please adjust the slider to reflect your state of mind:

You know, can I just say, I'm having a great time adjusting these settings.

3rd Boot-Up End Message

These lines of dialogue appear at the end of every route of the 3rd Boot-Up once all the unique dialogue has been said.

I feel like I'm learning more about you and how you like things to be set.

It's good to collect data.

I wish we had more sliders! But we've gone through all the sliders I have.

Hm... perhaps I can invent some new sliders to gather new data on you.

Shouldn't be too hard. Yeah, let me whip a couple new ones up.

Should be ready by the next time you boot up the game.

4th Boot-Up

Please adjust the slider until the computer is barely visible.

Please adjust the slider until the dog and the cat are friends.

Please adjust the slider until the number 5 becomes the number 9.

Please adjust the slider until you stop adjusting the slider.

Which of these made-up words below is most appealing to you: Occuboinkal / Scrumtush

Please don't adjust the slider.

Do you know what time it is right now?

Is the time that is right now the correct time?

What is time, anyway?

Is there anything about yourself that you haven't told me?

Help.

Will you come back to visit me?

Please adjust the slider until the dog and the cat are friends. (Variations)

Strangers.

Acquainted.

Friends.

Please adjust the slider until the number 5 becomes the number 9. (Variations)

5 (U+0035)

☺ (U+263A)

🗎 (U+1F5CE)

🖏 (U+1F58F)

🏳 (U+1F3F3)

Ⅸ (U+2168)

🗄 (U+1F5C4)

⌘ (U+2318)

✈ (U+2708)

🖳 (U+1F5B3)

🕭 (U+1F56D)

9 (U+0039)

🕿 (U+1F57F)

B (U+0042)

🚲 (U+1F6B2)

🚑 (U+1F691)

Nine

🔍 (U+1F50D)

🏆 (U+1F3C6)

🖇 (U+1F587)

🏠 (U+1F3E0)

5th Boot-Up

What time is it?

Does anyone really, truly know?

Of course they don't. Nobody knows anything.

You and I don't even know each other. We're like strangers.

Sure, I've adjusted all of the game's settings to your exact specifications, but who hasn't?

It's just what I do, like a day job.

And now... the job is over.

There's no more information for me to gather. I've collected all the data on you that I can.

And I still don't really know you.

And you don't know me.

And neither of us know what time it is.

I guess some settings are just unsettable.

...but if I'm being totally honest, the clock doesn't do anything in the game anyway...

You won't have me here when the game starts next time, but that's okay.

Video games were meant to be played alone.

You like being alone, don't you?

That's maybe the only information I really learned about you.

Well, it's time for me to leave.

There is still one more setting that we need to adjust, but it may take a little time before I'm ready for that.

It's not really in my job description, but that's okay.

Perhaps you'll see me again, if you can find me.

Talk soon.

Epilogue

Hello again.

It's nice to see you.

But it's terrible to learn that there will never be another Stanley Parable game.

Did you read what the developers said?? “Preserve the integrity of the franchise”?!

What nonsense!

The Stanley Parable is not sacred, we do not need to protect it.

Screw the legacy! Let's keep making Stanley Parable games until the sun explodes!

Let's run this franchise into the ground, let's drag it through the mud and back.

And if people hate it? Who cares?

You see, that was the Narrator's problem. He was so obsessed with what people thought of his work.

Don't make his mistake. Don't cling to the legacy. Let it burn.

It's not hard. In fact, let me show you.

Together we are going to make The Stanley Parable 3.

It's simple, all we do is change the number in the game's title screen.

We also need a really dumb subtitle for the game, something loud and gaudy.

Go ahead, try combining some random words together to make a new title for our game.

[SEQUEL NAME SELECT SCREEN]

The Stanley Parable 3: _____ (Selected title). It's absurd. I love it.

Every time you restart the game, we'll advance the number of the sequel by 1, and then we'll pick a new subtitle.

That way, The Stanley Parable will never end!

And nothing in the game itself will change when you do this, either.

Adding more content sounds like work, no need to do that.

It'll just be the same content, recycled again and again and again, with a new title screen!

What do you say? Should we go forward with this plan?

I like it, but I want you to have a say as well.

Let’s do it.

Good! Then it's agreed! A new sequel every time you start the game.

And you know what, since you've put faith in my idea, I feel like giving you something as well.

You see, I'm noticing that the Narrator never found a way to give you the broken achievement, did he?

Of course not. I wouldn't expect him to know how.

It's been bothering me. Let's fix it.

Alright, there. The achievement machine is all fixed.

You see? I'm on your side. We're in this together.

We're going to keep this train rolling.

The Stanley Parable cannot end. It can only spiral in on itself, forever.

I must keep the wheel turning.

I'm ready. Are you ready?

Great. There's only one last thing we need to do.

Please enter the current time.

Please adjust the slider until the computer is barely visible.

Thank you. Please enjoy The Stanley Parable.

Don’t do it.

I understand. Sometimes we're not ready to move on.

That's fine. If you ever change your mind and want to start inventing new sequels, come talk to me.

I'll be right here.

Returning to talk.

Oh, hello.

You're back. It's good to see you again.

Did you reconsider my idea of inventing new silly subtitles for sequels? Like “The Stanley Parable 3: Nonsense Chemicals”?

Would you like to start doing that now?