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Tape Recording

Stanley had now gotten himself so far off the beaten path, that it seemed the office had begun -

- so far off the beaten path, that it seemed the office had begun - (Repeats until the tape recorder is turned off)

Actual Narrator

You didn't think I was actually just a recording, did you?

What a silly and trite explanation that would be!

All the back and forth between you and me, all the absurd adventures we've been through, and it all turns out I'm just a tape recording?

[mockingly] It was all just in Stanley's head!

I bet that's the kind of twist you think is revelatory!

I bet each and every time you watch a movie where it turns out all to be in the main character's imagination, you must absolutely bolt off the couch in pure shock at the phenomenal and intricate storytelling!

It must be so simple to be you.

Life being an unending waterfall of surprises and delights.

How much more exciting you must find the world than the rest of us do.

[Sigh] Now I've become sad.

Look what you've done to me. This is all your fault.

With the Bucket

Tape Man Recording ("Evidence #252")

Okay, this is day number 295, tape number... I don't even know, I've lost track.

Nothing feels real anymore.

The longer I study this bucket the less sense anything makes. (The recording gets louder and clearer, as if he was the actual narrator instead of a tape recording)

The sheer euphoria I feel every time I pick it up, no matter how many times I've done it, it's always the same feeling.

And the emptiness in my chest when I set it down.

It doesn't make sense!

There's no explanation for it!

I still haven't figured out why I see the world so differently when this bucket is in my arms.

Why everything feels so...

What do I do with this treasure?

I can... I can monetize it.


It's unthinkable the amounts of money people will pay for even just an hour with the bucket.

This is my golden ticket.

But I have to be careful, because as soon as this gets out there's going to be a target on my back.

Even now, I don't know who might be trying to get -

[Strange otherworldly noises]

What's that? Who's there?